Michael Phelps, the most decorated swimmer in Olympic history with 28 medals, has given one of the most intimate accounts of his life. In a documentary about his former coach Bob Bowman, the American recounts the profound depression he experienced after announcing his initial retirement from competitive swimming following the 2012 London Olympics. The champion explains that he lost all sense of direction once his career was put on hold. Accustomed since childhood to living solely for competition, he describes sinking into a deep malaise, to the point of no longer finding meaning in his existence.
"I didn't want to live anymore"
In the documentary, Michael Phelps describes this particularly dark period frankly. "I didn't want to live anymore""I confided," he said, before revealing that he had considered taking his own life. The swimmer recounted that he had 30 mg of sleeping pills at the time and now believes that, had he had more, he probably would have taken them all. He now considers this episode the most important wake-up call of his life.
Bob Bowman's decisive intervention
His coach, Bob Bowman, explained that he realized the situation had become extremely concerning after Michael Phelps' arrest for drunk driving in 2014. Faced with the champion's initial refusal to undergo rehabilitation, Bowman told him he absolutely had to accept treatment, believing that any other decision could have serious consequences. Michael Phelps ultimately agreed to enter a treatment center. This step marked a turning point in his personal recovery.
A victorious return, but the fight is still ongoing.
After this period of treatment, Michael Phelps returned to competition and participated in the 2016 Rio Olympics, where he won five more gold medals and one silver medal, concluding his career with immense sporting success. However, he explains that his battle with depression and anxiety is not over. He continues to receive regular psychological treatment and states that these difficulties will likely be a part of his life. "I will never get rid of my depression and anxiety. The question is how I manage them.", he explains.
