Anyone who is naturally anxious knows that feeling where an event sends their mind into a state of madness, creating a deep and exhausting unease, as if the event is taking control of them.
Dr. Alice Boyes, a specialist in applying the principles of cognitive behavioral therapy and social psychology, offers advice that people can use in their daily lives. She presents six tips to improve your mental state when you're caught up in excessive thinking, whether you need to solve a problem or simply calm down, according to a report by Psychology Today.
Imagine someone telling you that the same disturbing event happened to them
Consider this scenario: “You’re an intern. You make a mistake that forces your entire team to spend Friday night fixing the problem you caused. It’s 18:52 PM, and 30 people are chatting on Slack about how to fix this mistake, even though everyone should have left by 17:30 PM.”
You feel bad and embarrassed. But in the following days, four people share similar mistakes they made as interns or early in their careers. One of them is a top manager who made a much bigger mistake. These perspectives help you understand that your mistake doesn't doom you to eternal failure—it's a common experience, not just yours.
In your case, you may not find others sharing their stories. However, just imagining someone who does can help calm you down.
Physiological reset
When we're overwhelmed by our thoughts, we often feel exhausted. You can reset yourself physiologically by doing any of the following: sleeping, breathing slowly, listening to a meditation session, listening to a familiar sound that soothes you (like a favorite podcast), taking a stress-relieving shower, or exercising. Take care of yourself as if you were recovering from an illness.
Postpone solving the problem
Sometimes giving your mind a mental and psychological break requires deliberately postponing problem solving. You can tell yourself, “I don’t need to work on this problem for the next few minutes or hours.” You can choose any time frame that works for you, from five minutes to several hours, or even overnight. Your mind may not fully follow this instruction, but setting an intention is still helpful. Research on “anxiety scheduling” shows that postponing anxiety to a specific time can help reduce its impact and improve focus.
A few minutes to show compassion towards yourself
There is strong evidence that self-compassion is an effective antidote to a tired mind. The most widely studied framework for self-compassion rests on three pillars: acknowledging your emotions, understanding that what you are experiencing is a shared human experience, and practicing kindness.
Although the details may vary, there are always aspects of your experience that are, at their core, universal. For example, everyone has made a mistake that upset others. Everyone has made a mistake while doing their best.
The more you can become aware of these shared experiences, the less alone you'll feel in your suffering. Research shows that writing about a weakness or mistake for just three minutes can help reduce psychological distress.
Find a useful metaphor
Physical healing follows a similar path to emotional healing. For example, you take antibiotics to treat a skin infection. For the first few days, the medication fights the infection, but the wound remains red. Between the fourth and sixth days, noticeable improvement appears, but the skin is still damaged. After a few weeks, the skin returns to its natural color.
When a disturbing event causes excessive thinking, the process of stopping such thinking doesn't happen overnight. Over time, as you mentally distance yourself from the event, your mind will return to it less frequently. You will eventually reach a point where you can go more time without thinking about the incident.
Think about something you've recovered from physically to find a metaphor that helps you heal emotionally.
Commit to your usual routine
When we're immersed in incessant thoughts, we often feel like everything was fine before the disturbing event, and then suddenly everything changes afterward. You can overcome this feeling and give yourself stability by committing to your usual routine. It's about small, simple things, like taking out the trash on time.
When you're overwhelmed by incessant thoughts, anchoring your actions in your daily routine helps restore a sense of normalcy, as these small actions can remind you that life goes on and help you regain control.
