EXCLUSIVE – When Loana confided in Entrevue: “I see myself as Marilyn Monroe. Surrounded and alone at the same time, with suicide attempts and a premature death.”

By Jérôme Goulon.

Loana, the first star of French reality television, has died at the age of 48. A symbol of an entire era, her story remains inextricably linked to that of...InterviewsIn 2012, to mark the magazine's 20th anniversary, she gave us an exclusive interview and posed for the cover. For this photoshoot, we chose to have her embody the celebrity she so admired: Marilyn Monroe, drawing inspiration from the iconic photographs by Douglas Kirkland and Bert Stern. Like the Hollywood star, Loana experienced fame too quickly, to the point of not being able to avoid succumbing to its pitfalls… Revealed by Loft StoryShe had initially managed to transform this notoriety into genuine success, for a time leading a career as a businesswoman, before collapsing. Bad company, drugs, alcohol, suicide attempts, kidnapping… Loana weathered these trials like a survivor and was seen as a hero. After yet another brush with death, she had tried to take control of her life again. But her vulnerabilities and demons ultimately resurfaced. In tribute and in memory, Interviews Today we invite you to (re)discover this iconic interview…

Interview: Do you feel close to Marilyn Monroe?
Loana: She's an icon. Marilyn, a woman surrounded by people yet incredibly lonely, with suicide attempts and a premature death. Starting from nothing, becoming a star, and suffering because of it… I see myself in her story. This is a tribute I'm paying her, and I'm proud of it! For both of us, it was loneliness that hurt us.

However, you were very well supported after Loft Story in 2001?
Yes, but it was a very bad environment. In fact, since I left the hospital last January, I've only seen two or three people, no more. It's in moments like these that you understand everything. For a long time, I thought life was beautiful, that I had lots of friends… until I found myself locked up and held captive for over a year.

Locked up and held captive?
Yes, my partner imprisoned me in our apartment by taking my keys and phone every day. He would secretly answer calls from my mother or other relatives, and nobody suspected a thing! I tried calling for help, but it was no use. The apartment was soundproofed. At the time, I was beaten, I ended up with a head injury, I took drugs, medication…

A lot of drugs?
In fact, after Loft StoryI only took it occasionally, and only for special occasions, like parties… Never during the week when I was working. And then, little by little, I fell into a negative spiral…

"I've made many suicide attempts; some were just cries for help, but sometimes I really wanted to end it all."

And how did you get out of that period of imprisonment?
One day, my ex-partner simply forgot the keys, and I finally managed to escape. I filed a complaint in December 2009. My accounts had been partially emptied. I lost nearly €300,000. Since then, he has received a three-month suspended sentence and is prohibited from approaching me within 300 meters or contacting me.

How does one manage to rebuild oneself?
It's very hard. I've made many suicide attempts; some were just cries for help, but sometimes I really wanted to end it all. I had a wake-up call after my cardiac arrest in January. I was kept alive artificially for three days. When I woke up, I saw a woman in the same condition as me. It was a shock. The doctors didn't know if I would have serious lasting effects because my brain had been deprived of oxygen. Since then, life seems different…

Is this a turning point?
Yes. That's where I agreed to film in The Angels of Reality TVIt became a second family that gave me a renewed zest for life.

Back to Loft StoryLooking back, would you still agree to do the show?
Of course! Except maybe for the pool… I really thought the production was filming the party, more than us. And then, in the bath, Jean-Edouard and I just got a little frisky, but we didn't make love. That happened later, in the bedroom.

There have been some rather steamy images circulating on the internet!
Yes… But I was definitely dumped the next day! After he dumped me, I went to cry under my duvet and only then did I think about the cameras.

Do you have any news about Jean-Edouard?
No, he hates me! He avoids me at parties…

"I showed everything to the public: my tears, my body, my laughter."

How did you experience leaving the loft and the fans screaming after you in the streets of Paris?
Actually, I just wanted to breathe after two months of confinement. I wondered how they could even know my name… I mean, how could they?! People wanted to touch me, tear my clothes off. I didn't understand what was happening to me.

When did you become aware of it?
When my mother brought me three binders of newspaper clippings, I felt like I was reading fake publications. I thought back to someone who had told me before entering the loft: "Your life will never be the same again..." I have nothing to hide, I've shown everything to the public: my tears, my body, my laughter. Today, people still approach me in the street, using the informal "tu" form.

Did you have enough perspective to know what needed to be done?
I did what I thought was right. A book, a singleI didn't know if it was going to be good, but I've always made my choices with my heart. It was a time when I had a blast… It was rock 'n' roll!

When did you realize that your life was starting to go down a really bad path?
In 2003, when I realized I wouldn't get custody of my daughter because it could harm her psychological well-being, and that I wouldn't be able to see her until she turned 18, I fought against three courts, in vain.

You're a survivor… If you had to do it all over again?
I have no regrets, except for those few years with my ex-partner. But I got through it. It's not an easy life either, but it's okay. Despite everything, I think I'm lucky…